Ghosts from the Past
by Caskett1960
Summary: My entry for the 2014 Winter Ficathon. Kate fights ghosts and a threat from her past while trying to start a family with Castle. It takes place in the months following Caskett's November 2014 wedding. Rated T, but that rating might change.
1. A Most Unlikely Threat

**DISCLAIMERS: 'Castle' is the property of Andrew W. Marlowe and ABC Studios Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. The story is the soul property of the author and may not be archived without her permission.**

**SUMMARY: My entry for the 2014 Winter Ficathon. Kate fights ghosts and a threat from her past while trying to start a family with Castle. It takes place in the months following Caskett's November 2014 wedding. Rated T, but that rating might change.**

**A/N #1: I promise that I will return to Baby Hope soon. It will probably be my entry for the Summer Ficathon. **

**A/N #2: There is going to be a lot going on in this story. For my followers who love angst, you're going to love this story. For the rest of you, I'm sorry, but angst is what I do best.**

**Ghosts from the Past**

**Chapter 1: A Most Unlikely Threat**

"Rick?" Kate was sprawled across Castle's chest one cold December night. They'd made love and now they were both lying close together. Kate was tracing light circles on Rick's chest with her fingernails, listening to the reassuring thud of his heart under her ear.

"Hmm?" His voice was a drowsy hum in the quiet warmth of their bedroom.

"I think I'm ready."

"That's nice. Ready for what?"

"To have a baby."

"Great. We'll talk about it in the morning. Love you."

"Rick? Castle?" Kate sat up and patted his chest, rousing him to full wakefulness. "Is that all that you have to say?"

"'Bout what?" His eyes were sleepy and he looked so adorable that she couldn't help smiling.

"About having a baby. Is that all that you have to say about it? That we'll talk about it in the morning?"

"I thought that you stopped taking the pill on our wedding day."

"I did."

"Then, there's nothing to talk about."

"Do you think that I'm ready?"

Castle propped himself up on his elbows and looked at his wife. "Part of you must've thought that you were ready if you stopped taking birth control."

"But, do _you _think that I'm ready?"

"Kate, I don't think you're ever entirely ready to be a parent. I know that I wasn't when Meredith got pregnant with Alexis. Having a baby is just one of those things that you have to be ready for when it happens, whether you're really ready or not. I do know that there's nothing that I want more than to father a child with you. Does that help?"

"Yeah," she smiled before lying down with her head on his chest once again.

"Besides, since I've been banned from the precinct, I can be a stay at home dad again, just like I was with Alexis. It'll be great. Can I ask you something though? It has to do with your shooting. Will you be okay carrying a baby to term?"

"I have to see my cardiologist once a year. I've never talked to him about having a baby. I've always felt so good for so long that I haven't given it much thought. I'll talk to my OB/GYN and see what he says."

"Maybe we should use condoms until we get a definitive okay."

"Castle, I'll be fine."

"I don't want to risk it," she lifted her head to stare at him. "I never want to feel that helplessness again, Kate. I never want to feel that fear of almost losing you."

"Okay," she touched his lips with her fingers. "If you want to use condoms, then we'll use condoms."

The next morning after taking a shower, Kate stood in front of the bathroom mirror, wiping the steam off of it before taking a long look at herself in it. Just as they had every time she looked in a mirror over the past three and a half years, her eyes automatically drifted down to the puckered scar near her left breast. She lifted her fingers and lightly touched it, feeling the texture of the damaged skin there.

When she'd been released from the hospital after her shooting, the furthest thing from her mind was having a child. She'd just got out of her relationship with Josh and didn't feel ready to enter into things with Castle, even though she knew that he loved her. So she'd never discussed future children with either her cardiologist or her OB/GYN. But now she wondered if that was going to be in the cards.

She startled slightly when the bathroom door opened and Castle walked in, his hair sticking up in all directions. She smiled at how adorably rumpled he looked in the mornings. He walked over and wrapped his arms around her from behind. "Morning," he kissed the top of her head. "What're you thinking about?"

"Castle, what if he tells me that it's too dangerous?"

"Okay, I just woke up, so could you maybe clarify exactly what it is that you're talking about? What if who tells you that it's too dangerous to do what?"

"What if my cardiologist tells me that it's too dangerous for me to get pregnant?" She turned in his arms. "I feel fine, Castle."

"If he tells you that it's too dangerous, we'll find another way. Kate, there are lots of ways to have a baby. We can adopt, or we can try surrogacy."

"But I want it to be _our _baby."

"Kate, it will be _our _baby. It might not have our DNA, but it will still be ours. You need to relax. You're thinking prematurely here. Make an appointment with both of your doctors and then we'll take it from there. Okay?"

"Okay," she allowed him to pull her against his chest. "I'd better get dressed."

When she walked out of Castle's office and into the living room half an hour later, she smiled at the sight of her husband holding out her travel mug of coffee. "It's cold out there, so stay bundled up," he helped her into her coat, wrapping her scarf around her. "And try not to worry so much."

"I can't help it."

"I know, but I have a feeling that everything is going to be just fine," he finished wrapping her scarf before kissing her softly. "I'll see you this evening. Kate?"

"Yes?"

"I love you," he kissed her once again, feeling her smile against his lips.

"I love you, too. I'll call you at lunchtime."

He stood at the door for a few minutes after he'd let Kate out before going into his office and sitting in front of his computer. He was still staring at his screensaver when he heard footsteps. He looked up to see Alexis standing in the doorway. "Good morning, sweetie."

"Good morning, dad. I have to leave for class in a little while, but before I left I thought that I'd cook you breakfast. What're you in the mood for?"

"I'm not hungry right now, but thank you."

"Is everything all right?" Alexis came in and sat down on the sofa. "I might not be able to help with whatever is troubling you, but I can at least listen."

"Kate told me last night that she wants us to have a baby."

"Dad, that's great!" Alexis smiled.

"But now I've made her start worrying, which is the last thing that I want to do."

"Worrying about what?"

"I want to make sure that her heart is okay. I know that she was medically cleared, but I don't think that included any future pregnancies. Now she's worried about what happens if her doctor doesn't clear her to get pregnant."

"Then you have a baby another way."

"That's what I told her, but she wants to carry my baby. I told her that she's thinking prematurely."

"You're right. She should wait to see what her doctor has to say first. It's going to be okay, dad," Alexis got up and walked over to his chair. "In any case, I can't wait to be a big sister," she hugged him. "I'd better get to class."

"Bye, sweetie. Have a good day."

"Thanks, dad. You, too. I'll see you this afternoon."

***CCC***

The day had started out cold and had just gotten colder as it went on. Kate and the boys had gotten a call for a body drop just before noon. It was open and shut, as far as murders went. They brought in a suspect for interrogation and had gotten a quick confession. The boys had gone out to grab some lunch, leaving Kate alone to finish up the DD-5's. But instead of working on her reports, she sat staring at her desk.

Unable to focus on her work, she took out her phone and dialed the number of her OB/GYN. The receptionist answered on the second ring. "Yes, this is Katherine Beckett. I'd like to schedule an appointment with Dr. Isaac."

"Dr. Isaac just retired. Dr. Caldwell is seeing his patients. When was your last appointment, Ms. Beckett?"

"Last May. When did Dr. Isaac retire? He didn't say anything to me when I saw him last."

"He retired in the middle of July. I have an opening for next Wednesday at two o'clock."

"Next Wednesday is fine. You said that the new doctor's name is Caldwell?"

"Yes, Elizabeth Caldwell. She will see you next Wednesday. 

"Thank you." She ended the call and then called Castle. "Hey, what're you doing?" She couldn't help smiling when he answered his phone.

"Well, I'm supposed to be writing, but I'm on Facebook. How's work?"

"The usual. Boring. We had a case earlier, but we got a confession. I'm supposed to be writing my 5's, but I thought that I'd call you instead. Do we have stuff for Tortilla Soup? I feel like soup and you know that's my favorite."

"If we don't have everything, I can run to the market. Are you feeling better?" 

"I guess. I made an appointment with my gynecologist, but I found out he retired. I'm seeing his replacement next week. I think the weather is making me achy."

"Then I will make you some soup and run you a hot bath."

"That sounds wonderful," she smiled. "I guess I'd better let you get back to your writing. I'll see you in a couple of hours."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too."

***CCC***

It was starting to sleet when Kate walked out of the precinct shortly after five. She walked down to the corner, pressing the button to cross the street to the parking garage. The heels of her boots echoed off of the cement floor as she walked toward her car, which was parked on the first floor of the garage. She heard footsteps behind her, but there were always footsteps in the structure, which was used by most of the nearby businesses.

She had her keys in her hand and had just pressed the button to unlock the doors when the footsteps behind her spoke. "Detective Beckett?"

When she turned around, she had her feet kicked out from under her. Landing with a thud onto the concrete, Kate was momentarily stunned before quickly getting her bearings and jumping quickly upright. Her attacker was dressed in black, including a black ski mask over his face. "Who are you?" She asked, jumping back as he took another swing at her, narrowly missing her.

Kate tried to move, but her assailant was quicker. His next shot knocked her off of her feet, onto her knees. She felt searing pain go through her right leg as she tried to get back up, but her right leg crumpled underneath her. Kate screamed, but the man in the garage laughed at her. "Nobody's going to hear you. This is New York City. Nobody ever sees anything."

His voice was muffled by the wool ski mask, but something about it was vaguely familiar. But before she could figure out where she'd heard his voice before, he was above her, wrapping her scarf around her neck. "No," Kate whimpered, kicking at him. She got her fingers around the ski mask and yanked it off of his head, digging her short nails into the sides of his face, which angered him, causing him to tighten the scarf.

Kate was kicking, gagging, and scratching; much like that day she'd been hanging from that rooftop so long ago. Right now, that day felt like another lifetime. Right now, the fight was for her life and she felt like she was losing. Spots swam in front of her eyes as she felt the oxygen leaving her body.

Right before she lost consciousness, she heard shouts and running footsteps. The scarf around her neck instantly loosened as her attacker let go of her. She heard two pairs of footsteps running, but she heard someone calling out to her like from the end of a very long tunnel. It sounded like Ryan, but she couldn't be sure.

Her next moment of consciousness was blinking red and blue. She let out a small groan when she felt herself being lifted. She felt her coat and shirt being opened followed by something sticky being applied to her chest. But she couldn't move, couldn't speak. Right now she could barely breathe and all she wanted was Castle.

**A/N #3: I promised angst and angst is what you're going to get. I promise that nobody is going to die. But that's the only thing I'm willing to promise at this point.**

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	2. Revelations

**DISCLAIMERS: No. I own many things, but 'Castle' isn't among them.**

**A/N #1: I'm overwhelmed by the response to this story. Thank you, all of my loyal readers.**

**A/N #2: To the guest reviewer who warned me that too much angst is depressing; I promise that I will include moments of joy. After all, in the immortal words of Kate Beckett, 'Even on the worst days, there's a possibility for joy.'**

**A/N #3: This chapter will backtrack slightly.**

**Chapter 2: Revelations**

"Are you and Jenny taking Sarah Grace to see Santa Claus?" Esposito asked as he and Ryan walked toward the elevator in the parking garage.

"We tried," Ryan shook his head at the memory. "But the instant that Jenny put Sarah Grace on Santa's knee, she took one look at him and began screaming like he was murdering her. I guess we'll try next year."

"Yeah, I guess I'd be freaked if—" Espo stopped talking when he noticed that Ryan was looking at something in the distance. "What's wrong?"

"Hey!" Ryan shouted, running down the rows of cars. "Stop! Police!"

That was when Esposito saw what his partner saw. A pair of shoes and a figure kneeling over the shoes. At Ryan's shout, the figure got up and bolted. Esposito took off after him, shouting at him to stop. The man, dressed completely in black, ran down the street and down the stairs toward the subway, Esposito about half a block behind him, but quickly catching up.

Down in the subway, both the man and Esposito dodged commuters as the man ran toward the subway platform, neatly leaping over the turnstile and toward a waiting train. Esposito cursed when the train doors slid closed and the train exited the station.

Back in the garage, Ryan approached the pair of shoes and was shocked to find Kate lying on the cold concrete floor, unconscious, her scarf wrapped tightly around her neck. "Beckett!" He pulled out his phone. "This is Det. Kevin Ryan, badge number 42344. I need a bus at the parking garage across from the 12th Precinct. I also need CSU! Officer Down!" He ended his call and focused his attention on Kate. He loosened the scarf and felt for a pulse. He breathed out a huge sigh when he felt her pulse under his fingers. "Beckett, can you hear me?"

"He hopped on the subway. I never got a look at him," Esposito returned to the parking garage, out of breath. "Beckett! Is she—"

"No, I got a pulse, but he tried to strangle her."

Soon, the area was crawling with CSU and paramedics. After getting her vital signs, the paramedics immediately loaded her into an ambulance. Capt. Gates showed up at the same time as CSU, who were processing the scene.

"What happened?" The captain asked.

"We were coming across the garage and I saw a pair of shoes sticking out into the aisle and a man dressed all in black kneeling over. It didn't look right. I didn't realize it was Beckett until I got closer."

"I chased the suspect, but he hopped on the train. I never got a good look at his face."

"Did Beckett say anything?"

"No, sir. The guy wrapped her scarf around her neck and tried to strangle her."

"Get to the hospital. If someone tried to kill her, he might try again. I'll put guards on her."

"Yes, sir."

***CCC***

"Detective Beckett? Kate?"

Kate could hear a voice calling her from far away. But it was safer where she was. But the voice above her head was so insistent. She slowly opened her eyes, closing them quickly when the bright light over her head penetrated her brain. She tried to talk, but no sound would come out. She took a deep breath and tried again. "Nails," her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Detective, you're at New York Presbyterian Hospital. The police are anxious to talk to you. Do you feel like answering some questions?"

Kate took a deep breath and slowly nodded her head. Moments later, she heard footsteps and Ryan's familiar voice. "Kate, do you feel like answering some questions?"

"Nails," she mouthed the words, no sound emerging from her throat.

"I'm sorry, Beckett, I can't hear you."

"Her windpipe and vocal cords are swollen due to the attempted asphyxiation," a nurse explained. "Detective Beckett, would it be easier for you to write your answers?" Kate nodded, so the nurse pressed a pen and a small notepad into her hands. "Please be brief."

"I will."

Kate wrote one word in huge block letters before shoving the pad toward Ryan. 'NAILS' was all she had written.

"Kate, I don't under—Wait! You scratched your assailant?" He asked as Kate nodded. "Okay, I'll get someone from CSU down here. Can you describe him?"

Kate scribbled and handed the pad back to Ryan. 'ALL IN BLACK. BLACK SKI MASK. PULLED IT & SCRATCHED HIM. VOICE WAS FAMILIAR.'

"You recognized his voice? Do you know from where?" Kate shook her head, closing her eyes against the light.

"That's enough, Detective," the doctor pulled Ryan aside.

Kate hit the pad against the bed to get Ryan's attention. "Kate, what is it?"

'CASTLE.'

"I'll call him. You relax and get some rest. Gates is going to station guards outside of your room." Ryan stepped aside with the doctor. "I'm going to go and call her husband. I'm also going to have CSU come down here and scrape her nails. Hopefully the guy is in our database."

After Ryan stepped out, the doctor stepped up to the gurney. "We're going to get some x-rays of your knee. Did you hit your head?"

Kate just shrugged before writing. 'VOICE?'

"Your windpipe and vocal cords are swollen from your assailant trying to strangle you. Your voice will return in a day or two when the swelling goes down. Det. Beckett, the whites of your eyes are blood red from the blood vessels breaking. This might take a while to heal. It'll make your eyes sensitive to light, so you might want to wear sunglasses until it heals."

'PETECHIA.'

"Yes. Get some rest and I'll send your husband in when he gets here."

Kate closed her eyes against the blinding glare of the overhead lights. She felt a sting in her right hand, followed by something being inserted. Shortly after that, all of the pain started to fade away, being replaced by warmth and safety. It felt the way that it felt when she was with Rick; warm and safe.

***CCC***

Rick was busy in the kitchen, making the tortilla soup that Kate had requested earlier. "Hello, darling," Martha breezed into the loft, closing the door behind her. "Something smells wonderful."

"I talked to Kate at lunchtime and she asked for tortilla soup."

"It's a good day for it. It is positively ghastly out there. It feels like snow. Where is your lovely bride?"

"She should be home any minute now. Let me ask you something, mother. What do you think of the idea of being a grandmother again?"

"Richard, is Katherine—"

"No, no," Rick quickly shook his head. "We're just in the talking stage right now. Kate feels that she's ready, so she's going to talk to her cardiologist to make sure that it won't put any strain on her heart."

"I thought that she made a full recovery."

"She made a full recovery to return to work. That's very different from carrying another human being. Kate said she never discussed that with him because at that time the thought never crossed her mind."

"Well, I have a feeling that everything is going to work out just fine," Martha assured him as Castle grinned widely just as his phone rang. "You might want to get that. It's probably Kate."

Castle grabbed his phone, frowning when he saw Ryan's name on the caller id. "Ryan, what's up? Beckett isn't home, yet."

"Castle, Kate got attacked in the parking garage across from the precinct."

"Attacked? Is she okay?"

"She's at New York Pres."

"I'm on my way!"

"Richard, is everything all right?" Martha was alarmed when she saw Richard go to the closet and grab his coat.

"Ryan said that Kate got attacked in the parking garage. I'll call when I know more!"

When Castle got to the hospital, he saw Gates and Esposito. "Espo, what happened?"

"Ryan and I were walking through the first floor of the garage. Ryan saw someone kneeling over something. He realized that someone was being assaulted. I chased after the guy while Kevin took care of Beckett. I didn't even know it was her, at first."

"Did you get the guy?"

"No. He jumped on the subway. We didn't even get a good look at him. But Beckett told Ryan that she scratched the guy, so CSU got scrapings from under her nails and we're running him through CODIS."

"So, she's okay?"

"Mr. Castle?" Castle looked over and saw Gates standing beside a man dressed in scrubs. "I'm Dr. Garner. I'll take you to see your wife. We can talk on the way." Castle quickly fell in step beside the doctor as they walked down the hall. "Your wife's attacker attempted to strangle her. If her friends hadn't shown up when they did, he would've succeeded. Kate also has a badly bruised knee and some bruises to her torso, probably from being pummeled during her attack. Her windpipe and vocal cords are swollen, so right now she's not able to speak. Her speech will return in a day or two when the swelling subsides. I'd like to keep her a day or two for observation."

They stepped onto the elevator and went upstairs to the room Kate had been moved to. "How long can I stay with her?"

"Stay as long as you'd like. She's been given a sedative, so she's going to be in and out."

"Thank you," Castle opened the door and stepped in.

He couldn't help remembering the first time he'd seen her in a hospital bed, looking so small and frail. Once again she was in a hospital bed after enduring yet another fight for her life. Castle was shocked by the purple bruises to her face and around her throat. He pulled a chair over and sat down, taking her cold hand in both of his, rubbing it to warm it.

Kate felt the familiar warmth of Castle's hand and opened her eyes, smiling wanly into his concerned blue eyes. 'Hi,' she mouthed.

"Hi," he leaned forward and softly kissed her. "Thank god you're okay. Kate, do you know who did this?"

She nodded toward the notepad and pen by her bed. Castle handed them to her and watched as she raised the bed. She wrote a few lines and handed him the pad. 'VOICE WAS FAMILIAR. BUT I'M FUZZY. DON'T REMEMBER WHERE.'

"Was it someone that you had arrested?"

She took a deep breath and wrote again. 'CASTLE, I DON'T REMEMBER!'

"Okay. I'm sorry. I don't mean to upset you. Thank god the boys stopped him."

Kate closed her eyes, wincing against the persistent throbbing in her throat. It still felt like her scarf was being wound around her neck. She wanted to go home to the safety of the loft, where it was quiet. Here in the hospital, every small noise set her nerves on edge. She opened her eyes and once again picked up the pad. 'MY DAD?'

"I'll call him in a little while. I wanted to see you first."

'HOME, CASTLE.'

"They want to keep you for a couple of days, Kate. You got pretty banged up." She shook her head. "Kate, come on. I want to make sure that it's okay for you to be released. I don't want you coming home early, only to have to be readmitted."

'NOT SAFE HERE.'

"Kate, Capt. Gates has stationed guards outside of your door. I can hire somebody to watch out for you once we go home. At least until they catch this guy."

She put the pad and pen down, once again reaching out for his hand. He took it, wrapping his fingers around hers. "Sleep, Kate. I'm not going anywhere."

Her eyes closed and she went back to sleep, keeping her hand in Castle's. But he noticed that her body tensed at every noise outside of her room, especially footsteps.

***CCC***

"Do we have anything on who attacked Det. Beckett?" Capt. Gates asked, as she approached Ryan, who was sitting in front of his computer screen.

"DNA is still going through CODIS. How is she?"

"Lucky to be alive. Mr. Castle is with her now."

"We've got a hit!" Ryan said as Gates came over to stand behind him. "Wait, this can't be right."

"Who is it?"

"Russell Ganz. But he's supposed to be in prison."

"Who's Russell Ganz?"

"In 2011, Beckett arrested him in L.A. for the murder of her former T.O., Mike Royce."

"It says here that he's out of prison after winning an appeal on his conviction," Gates read over Ryan's shoulder. "Let me call the D.A. and find out what the appeal was based on. Meanwhile, let's get a BOLO put out on Mr. Ganz."

"Yes, sir."

***CCC***

Ryan had texted Castle and told him that there was a lead on Kate's attack. Making sure that Kate was still soundly sleeping, Castle slipped out of the room. Moments later, Ryan and Esposito stepped off of the elevator. "What did you find?" Castle asked.

"It was Russell Ganz who attacked Beckett, Castle," Ryan told him.

"Ganz? That isn't possible," Castle argued. "Russell Ganz is in prison."

"Not anymore. He's out on appeal. Gates talked to the D.A. He told her that Ganz won his appeal based on Beckett's trip to Los Angeles. She wasn't authorized to go after him," Esposito added.

"He crossed state lines to kill someone," Castle reminded them.

"And when Ganz went back to L.A., Beckett should've let the authorities out there take care of it. Montgomery told her as much," Esposito threw back at him. "She let her personal feelings get in the middle of her common sense."

"Have you guys found Ganz?"

"No, he's in the wind," Ryan said. "There's a BOLO out on him. TSA and Border Guards have also been notified. He's not going anywhere, Castle."

"How's she doing?" Espo nodded toward the room.

"She's scared. She wants to go home. You know, the usual 'Beckett's Struggles with PTSD' type of thing," Castle said bitterly. "I'm sorry. I'm just worried about her."

"We'll let you get back in to her. We'll keep you updated," Espo told him.

"Thanks, guys."

When he walked back into the room, he found himself face to face with Kate, who was holding her I.V. pole in one hand and the wall with her other hand. Her face was a mask of rage and pain. "Ganz attacked me?" She mouthed.

"Come on, you shouldn't be out of bed," he slipped one arm around her waist and helped her back into bed, pulling her sheet over her. He handed her the notepad and pen before he continued. "They're going to find him, Kate."

Kate wasn't listening. Instead her mind had gone back to that early morning when she'd learned that Royce was dead. She thought of how different her life could've gone if only she had allowed him in to her heart. She finally picked up her notepad and pen. 'I HAD TO GET JUSTICE FOR ROYCE. I DON'T REGRET ANYTHING.'

"I know."

'CAN YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE LIGHTS?'

The whites in both of Kate's eyes were very red, obscuring the whites for the most part. The doctor had warned him earlier that her eyes would be extremely light sensitive for six to twelve weeks. He walked over and flipped the overhead switch, leaving her room illuminated by the light above her bed. "Better?" He asked as she nodded. "Do you want me to stay tonight?"

She patted the space beside her. He grinned before sitting on the edge of the bed and toeing out of his shoes before slipping into the narrow hospital bed. Kate quickly settled into her usual spot with her head on his chest, willing sleep to overtake her once again.

Falling asleep, Kate remembered those few days in L.A. with Castle while they tried to find the mysterious man who'd killed Mike Royce. But mostly she remembered that night when she'd almost slept with Rick. She stroked his chest, smiling when she felt his lips brush the top of her head. She knew that she couldn't have found Royce's killer without him and now it seemed that Royce's killer was out to seek revenge on her.

**A/N #4: I promise that Kate will start speaking again in the next chapter. I will also return to the family thing.**

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	3. Manhunt

**DISCLAIMERS: Nope, they still aren't mine.**

**SUMMARY: The hunt is on for Russell Ganz while Castle finds himself jealously wondering about the relationship that Kate had with the late Mike Royce.**

Chapter 3: Manhunt

Castle woke up in the uncomfortable hospital bed with the scratchy sheets. He felt Kate's arm stretched across his lower abdomen, the top of her head barely visible under the sheet and light blanket. During the night he'd felt her shift lower into the bed, clutching at him every time she heard the slightest noise in the hallway. At some point during the night, a nurse had come in and removed her IV, giving her more freedom of movement.

"Kate?" He brushed his fingers through the top of her hair, feeling her move against him. "Hey, are you awake?" Finally, the bundle under the sheet and blanket began to move. She shoved the sheet off of her head before sliding back up, nuzzling Castle's neck. "Good morning. You know, if we weren't in this hospital bed, I would've enjoyed where your head was resting last night."

He felt her stroking his abdomen and then he realized that she was spelling something out.

'Home,' she scratched out the letters.

"Hopefully they'll release you this morning."

Kate winced as she moved into a sitting position. The bruises and the redness in her eyes were more vivid than they'd been the previous day. She pointed to the notepad and pen by the bed. Castle handed them to her and watched her furiously scribble a few words. 'DID THEY FIND GANZ?'

"Not yet. I haven't talked to the boys or Capt. Gates this morning. They're going to find him, Kate. Maybe he went back to L.A."

Kate shook her head and began writing again. 'HE'S STILL HERE. HE WANTS TO FINISH THE JOB.'

"We're going to keep you safe."

Kate was about to write something further when the door opened and Dr. Garner stepped in with a nurse. "Good morning, Det. Beckett, Mr. Castle. Mr. Castle, can you step out for a moment so that I can take a look at your wife?"

"I'll be right outside," Castle kissed the top of her head before climbing out of bed and grabbing his shoes.

"How are you feeling this morning?" Kate see-sawed her hand back and forth. "Let me take a look at your throat," Kate opened her mouth as the doctor pressed a tongue depressor down on her tongue and shined a pen light inside. Just as Kate thought that she was about to gag from the tongue depressor, he removed it, tossing it into the trash can by her bed. "There's still some swelling, but it's significantly better than when you were admitted. Can you say 'ahh' for me?"

"Ahhh," her voice was raspy, but audible.

"I want you to refrain from talking as much as possible for the next few days, but I think you're going to be just fine. And don't whisper. Whispering isn't good for your vocal cords. Drink plenty of fluids. Uh, tea with honey and lemon is particularly good."

"Can I go home today?"

"I think that can be arranged. Stay off of that leg and get some rest. I'll get your papers ready."

"Thank you."

Castle was leaning against the wall when the doctor and nurse stepped out. "How is she? Can she go home?" He asked.

"I'm going to prepare her papers right now. Her voice is coming back, but I still want her to speak as little as possible. I should have her papers ready in the next half hour or so."

"Thank you," Castle smiled before stepping back into the room. "Are you ready to get out of here?"

"So ready," she rasped, reaching for him. He sat on the bed, wrapping her into his arms, feeling her resting her head on his chest. "I need some clothes."

"That's all taken care of. Alexis stopped by last night after you fell asleep. She brought you some sweats and a shirt. And some sneakers," he added as she smiled.

"We have a great kid, Castle."

"Yes, we do," he kissed the top of her head. "The doctor still wants you to rest your voice, so we'll keep your pad and pen handy. Okay?" He felt her nod.

"I'm going to talk to Gates—" 

"Kate, rest your voice."

"Please let me finish saying this," she sat up so that she could look at him. "I want you back at the precinct with me to help us find Ganz. I'll resort to begging if I have to. Or a temper tantrum."

"Kate, you don't need to be looking for Ganz. Let Ryan and Esposito hunt for him."

"Castle—"

"Kate, he almost killed you. If the boys hadn't shown up when they did—"

"Castle, he killed Royce and because of me, he's getting away with it. I owe it to Mike to find him. I owe it to his family."

"Okay. Let's get you home and we can talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about," her face was set in a stubborn mask of determination. Castle knew that there was no talking to her when she got like this. She'd just dig her heels in further.

***CCC***

"Oh Katherine, are you all right?" Martha rushed up to the two of them when they walked into the loft almost two hours later.

"I'm okay, Martha," Kate rasped out.

"I'm glad that you're all right, Kate," Alexis gingerly hugged her.

"Thank you, Alexis. And thank you for bringing me something to wear home."

"Come on, let's get you settled and comfortable," Castle helped Kate over to the sofa and helped her get into a comfortable position before placing a pillow under her injured knee. He then handed her the pen and paper she'd been using in the hospital. "Remember what the doctor said. Conserve your voice. I'll make you some tea."

Kate could feel Martha and Alexis looking at her. She knew that she looked a fright. She'd seen her face in the mirror when she'd combed her hair a while earlier. She had bruises all over her neck and her eyes were more red than white. She leaned her head back against the soft leather of the sofa and closed her eyes wearily. She groaned when she heard her phone ring. "I'll get it, kiddo," Martha offered, removing Kate's phone from her purse and looking at the caller id before answering. "Hello? This is her mother-in-law. May I ask whose calling? One moment," Martha placed her hand over the phone and looked at Kate. "Katherine, it's Dr. Caldwell's office confirming your appointment for Wednesday."

"Oh, I forgot," Kate reached for the phone, which Martha reluctantly handed over to her. "Hello?"

"Mrs. Castle, this is Dr. Caldwell's office. I'm reminding you of your two o'clock appointment Wednesday afternoon."

"I'll be there. Thank you." She ended the call and struggled to sit up. "Castle, can you help me into our bedroom? I want to stretch out."

"I'll fix her tea," Alexis offered.

"Thank you, sweetie."

Castle helped Kate to her feet before slipping his arm around her waist and helping her into their bedroom. He then pulled back the comforter and sheet, watching Kate as she sat on the bed and slid over to her side. She laid her head against her pillow and smiled gratefully. "Thank you."

"I'll be right back with your tea."

When Castle came back with her tea five minutes later, he smiled at the sight of Kate asleep under the covers. He quietly returned to the kitchen and poured the tea down the drain. "Dad, do they know who did this?" Alexis perched on one of the barstools.

"It was the man who killed Kate's former training officer."

"I thought he was in prison. Didn't you and Kate go to L.A. after him?"

"Yes, but apparently he's out on appeal. Since Kate wasn't authorized to go after him, they granted Ganz an appeal on some kind of procedural error. It's all very lawyer-y," he made a face as Alexis smiled. "I think I'm going to grab my laptop and get some writing done."

***CCC***

Castle was propped against the headboard of the bed, typing furiously on his laptop with season one of 'Lost' playing on the TV more for background noise than anything else. Kate was still sleeping, although she'd been restless for the past hour. He alternated between glancing down at her and continuing his writing. "Who did you think Kate was going to end up with? Sawyer or Jack?" Her sleepy voice broke the quiet.

"Well, Sawyer was a bad boy and Jack was the heroic doctor. I liked her better with Sawyer," he smiled. "How did you sleep?"

"I was dreaming about Royce," she struggled to sit up. "I keep seeing his face that night I cuffed him in the cemetery."

"He messed up, Kate. He knows that you had to take him into custody. Can I ask you something?" He set his laptop aside before turning to look at her again. "That day when he called you . . . you told him that you loved him. Was that the truth or were you really just trying to keep him on the phone long enough for a trace?"

"Both," she looked down at her hands in her lap. "My mom was gone and by the time I got out of the academy, my dad was already a pathetic alcoholic. I couldn't talk to him. Mike was the first person that I was able to pour my soul out to. I was young and impressionable, and it was like I told you that night in L.A. I was in awe of him," she smiled at the memory.

"Did you ever sleep with him?"

"No. Thinking about it now, it was more of a teenage crush kind of feeling that I had for him. I talked to him a few times after he retired, but eventually we lost touch."

"Is it all right if I'm a little jealous of him?"

"Don't be jealous," she reached out and touched his cheek. "I love you so much. Royce was a part of my past, but you're my present and my future. When I go talk to my new doctor Wednesday, I want you to come with me."

"What if she wants to look at your . . . lady parts?" He asked as Kate rolled her eyes.

"Castle, it's my first visit with her. We'll discuss my medical history. Besides, you've already seen my, uh, lady parts," she leaned forward and kissed him before cuddling at his side. "Which episode are you watching?"

"Charlie just shot Ethan. Michael is trying to build the raft to get him and Walt off of the island. So, who was your favorite? Jack or Sawyer?"

"Sawyer," she smiled shyly. "After all, all girls love bad boys."

"Until they reform and fall for writers," he kissed the top of her head.

"He knew that I loved you," she stroked his chest.

"Who? Royce?" He felt her nod.

"That letter that he left me when he died. He told me that I was fighting it. He wrote that risking our hearts is why we're alive."

"Kate, did something almost happen that night in the hotel?"

"I went to my room and I must've stood against that closed door for five minutes, trying to get my nerve up to go to you. When I came out of my room, you were just closing your door. I was kind of relieved."

"Are you saying that you didn't want me?" He teased.

"The timing wasn't right, Castle. I wasn't ready."

"I was," he smiled.

"Castle, you were ready the first day we met," she poked him in the ribs.

"True."

Kate's phone rang early the next morning. She tried to untangle herself from Castle and fumble for the phone at the same time. "Beckett," her voice was raw from sleep and the swelling of her larynx.

"Beckett, uni's picked up your boy," Esposito's voice came over the line.

"Where?" She sat straight up in bed, feeling Castle sit up beside her.

"Coming out of a bodega in Queens. He tried to put up a fight, so they tasered his ass. We've got him cooling his heels in a holding cell right now. Do you want a shot at him?"

"Does a bear shit in the woods? I'll be there in 20 minutes," she hung up and began to get out of bed.

"Kate, where are you going?" Castle followed her out of bed. "You can barely walk."

"They picked up Ganz. I need to confront him. Are you coming?"

"I thought that I was banned—"

"I'm not doing this alone. Get dressed."

***CCC***

Capt. Gates thought that her eyes were playing tricks on her when she saw Beckett and Castle walk by her office window. She got up and quickly strode from the room, stopping the detective who was on her way to Interrogation One from the looks of things. "Det. Beckett, what are you doing here?"

"I came to question the man who attacked me," Kate's voice was harsh and raw.

"No, you're not. Detectives Ryan and Esposito will handle the interrogation. And, Mr. Castle, may I remind you that you're not supposed to be here, at all."

"I'm not here as a consultant," Castle faced the captain down. "I'm here as the husband of the victim of a violent crime."

"Then, I suggest that the three of us watch the proceedings from the ob room," the captain moved past them and down the hall toward the observation room.

Kate sighed before reluctantly following her superior down the hall with Castle right behind her, closing the door behind him. Kate stood beside Capt. Gates, staring through the one-way window, coming face to face with the man who'd attacked her two days earlier. He was dressed in a gray hooded sweatshirt, but his face sported the evidence of Kate's fight for her life.

The door to the interrogation room opened and the boys stepped in, sitting across from Ganz. "Have you been advised of your rights, Mr. Ganz?" Espo asked, after turning on the microphone on the table.

"I have."

"How'd you get those scratches on your face?" Ryan asked.

"My girlfriend's cat scratched me."

"A cat did that, huh?" Espo looked at Ryan, who scoffed. "You know, bro, you had an easy ride. You got out of prison on appeal due to a legal technicality. Most dudes would try to stay out of trouble. After all, if your appeal isn't overturned, you're a free man. But, not you. No, you had to go looking for trouble. Tell us about the attack on Det. Beckett."

"What about her?"

"Your DNA was found under her fingernails. I'm guessing that it got there when she dug her nails into your face and gave you those so-called 'cat' scratches. So, what happened?"

"The last time I saw Det. Beckett was under the Santa Monica pier when she put a bullet in my leg. She probably would've put one in my head if her partner and the L.A. cops hadn't shown up when they did."

In the ob room, Kate could feel Rick behind her, his hands gently massaging her shoulders, keeping her calm and grounded. "What's the status of his appeal?" She asked.

"I don't know. What happened to you probably won't affect it, one way or the other," Gates answered her. "But, he'll still go back to prison for attempted murder."

Kate returned her attention to the interrogation room. "When did you decide to target Det. Beckett?" Ryan asked.

"It was always in the back of my mind," Ganz folded his hands in front of him on the table. "I never thought I'd get to act on it, though. But then I learned that I'd won my appeal. It sort of became an obsession after that. I'd been watching her for a while. But I couldn't get near her because of that writer that she's married to. He was there when she shot me in L.A. But then I noticed that she was coming into the precinct alone and leaving the same way. I Googled the writer and learned that he'd been banned from the precinct. What did he do? Park in the chief's parking space or something?"

Gates closed her eyes when she heard how Ganz had managed to get to one of her people. She made a mental note to notify the D.A. to get Castle back into the precinct. "Castle, I've heard enough," Kate turned to leave the room.

Gates found them moments later in the break room. "Det. Beckett, Mr. Castle, I'm sorry."

"You, the D.A. and the mayor may as well have wrapped a bow around Kate and handed her to Ganz gift-wrapped," Castle hissed.

"Mr. Castle, may I remind you—"

"Yeah, I know. I messed up!"

"Please stop," Kate pleaded with the two of them. "I should've been paying more attention to my surroundings. Neither of you two is to blame. I'm a cop. I should've known better."

"Mr. Castle, I'll see what I can do about getting you back in here as a consultant. Believe me, banning you was the last thing that I wanted to do."

"I know. It was all over your face when you broke the news."

"Sir, I'll be back in a couple of days as soon as I get my voice completely back. Castle, take me home."

"Take your time, Det. Beckett."

Sitting in the backseat of the Town Car that was taking them back to the loft, Castle took Kate's hand. "I'm sorry, Kate. Taking that blood oath was the dumbest thing I've ever done. I didn't think—"

"No, you didn't," she turned to look at him. "But it was my fault, too. I was wrong to let you run an investigation on your own. That's my job, not yours. But it's done now. And we all have to live with the consequences. I miss him, Castle."

"Who? Royce?" He asked as she nodded. "I know."

"I wish so many things. I wish that I'd talked to him after I arrested him. I wish that I'd kept in touch after he left the job."

"Kate, you did what you had to do. I'll tell you what. It won't fix things, but when we have a son, we'll name him Michael."

"When we have a son, huh?" She looked at him, flashing him a light smile. "You've got this all planned out, I see. What happened to Cosmo?"

"That'll be our second son's name."

"Let's have this son of ours first, okay?" She squeezed his hand.

"I can't wait," he squeezed her hand back.

**A/N #1: I write regular stuff better than crime fic, so the rest of the story is going to focus on finding out if a baby is possible. **

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	4. You Keep Me Grounded

**DISCLAIMERS: I wish 'Castle' belonged to me. But, no. They're still the property of AWM.**

**SUMMARY: An important part of Kate's past history has a possible impact on hers' and Rick's future.**

**A/N #1: As you can tell from my previous chapter, what I'm watching on TV can impact what I'm writing. I'm a fan of both 'Lost' and 'The Walking Dead.' **

Chapter 4: You Keep Me Grounded

It was just beginning to get light in the bedroom when Kate opened her eyes. She brought her hand up to her throat, wincing when she felt the bruises under her fingertips. She rolled over and smiled at the sight of Rick curled on up his side facing her, his eyes still closed in sleep, soft snores emitting from his slightly parted lips.

She could never imagine loving one human being as much as she loved the man sleeping by her side. As a young girl, she could remember watching her parents and wishing that she could find someone to love her as much as her parents loved each other. But then her mother was murdered and any hope of that type of love died with her.

Then along had come Richard Castle and that hope was reborn. He'd been more than her partner over the years. He was her best friend. He was the one who knew her better than anyone had ever known her. He held her through nightmares and panic attacks. He made her laugh when he knew that she needed to and he held her when she cried. Like she'd told him in her wedding vows; when she was vulnerable, he was strong.

As if sensing that he was being watched, his eyes fluttered opened and he greeted her with a sleepy smile. "Hey," he whispered, his voice still rough with sleep.

"Hey," she whispered back, moving into the warmth of his embrace.

"What time is your appointment?" He let his hands slip under the t-shirt that she was wearing.

"Two o'clock," she shivered at the feel of his warm hands on her bare back. "What're you doing?"

"Oh Kate, how many times have I told you that if you have to ask, then I'm not doing it right," he smiled as she moved closer, rubbing her nose against his.

"Oh, you're doing everything right," her lips closed over his.

After they made love, Castle let his fingers trail over Kate's bare stomach, causing her to giggle. "You're so cute when you giggle like that," his lips pressed against her neck. "I hope that you get good news today. Because I can't wait to see you all blown up and fat with our child inside of you."

"You'll love me even when I'm fat?" She rolled over and propped her elbows on his chest.

"I'll love you fat, thin, old and gray. You're going to make a fantastic mom."

"Well, let's make sure that I can get pregnant, first."

"Kate, it's going to work out."

"What if it doesn't? What if either my gynecologist or my cardiologist think it's too dangerous? I don't want to die, Rick. I've already almost left you once."

"Kate, right now, let's just put one foot in front of the other. Have you had any problems since your recovery? I mean, we've never really discussed much about what happened that morning."

"Every once in a while, my heart feels like it skips a beat. But my cardiologist had told me that would happen."

"What about pain? Does it still hurt?"

"Sometimes. Especially when it's cold or damp. But it's nothing like it was during that summer after it happened. Back then, I couldn't take two steps without feeling like I was going to die."

"Kate, if they tell you that it's too dangerous, then we'll find another way. There are a lot of ways to have a baby."

"Rick, I want it to be _ours_."

"And it will be. Hey, like I said a minute ago, let's take this one step at a time. Okay?"

"Okay," she nodded as she kissed him once again. "I'm glad that you're a glass half full kind of guy."

"Hey, you need someone who can balance you out," he teased, bringing her down so that her head rested on his chest.

***CCC***

At a quarter to two, Kate and Rick found themselves sitting in the waiting room of Dr. Elizabeth Caldwell, OB/GYN. Kate was leafing through a magazine, but occasionally she'd lift her eyes up to take a look at the other women in the room with them. A few were quite obviously pregnant. But she noticed that there wasn't another man in sight. "Can I ask you a question?" She whispered to Rick, who was looking through a _Parent's_ magazine. "Did you ever go to the doctor with Meredith?"

"Only to see the ultrasound when we found out that we were having a girl," he smiled at the memory. "Other than that, she didn't want me around."

"I'll bring you to every appointment, if that's all right with you," she smiled.

"That's perfectly all right with me," he leaned his forehead against hers.

"Kate Castle," the receptionist called her name.

"Let me talk to my doctor and then I'll see about bringing you back."

The receptionist led Kate back to a room and took her vital signs. "Dr. Caldwell will be just a few minutes," she said as she left the room, closing the door behind her.

Kate rubbed her arms in the chilly room, looking around at the posters on the wall. One of them was a chart showing how much each centimeter was for a woman in labor. Kate gasped when she saw how big 10 centimeters really was. "Yes, you will really stretch that much," Kate turned when she heard the door open.

Dr. Caldwell was in her early 40's. Her blonde hair was tied back in a neat ponytail. She was wearing a white lab coat over black slacks and a striped shirt. "I've always heard 10 centimeters in every medical show I've ever watched. I just never realized how big that really was," Kate inwardly shuddered at the thought.

"I guess that we should get to know each other before we focus on the hard questions like how big a newborn's head really is," the doctor held out her hand. "I'm Dr. Elizabeth Caldwell."

"Kate Castle," Kate smiled as she shook the doctor's hand.

"Please, have a seat, Mrs. Castle."

"Please call me Kate."

"Okay, Kate. I see that you visited Dr. Isaac back in May. What brings you back so soon after your last visit?"

"I just got married. My husband has a grown daughter, but we've been talking about having a baby of our own."

"Well, you're 35 and according to Dr. Isaac's notes, you seem to be in perfect health. All systems should be go. Are you using contraceptives?"

"I was on the pill, but I stopped using it on our wedding day. There's something that I'm concerned about. I was shot in the heart four and a half years ago. My husband is concerned about the effect that it could have on me carrying a baby. He's out in the waiting room right now."

"Do you mind if I ask how you came to get shot in the heart?"

"Let's just call it an occupational hazard. I'm a homicide detective."

"The red eyes and the bruises on your neck? Are they part of your so-called 'occupational hazard,' as you call it?"

"Yeah. We both just need our minds set at ease."

"What's your husband's name?"

"Rick."

"I'll have my receptionist bring him back to my office. Come on," the doctor stood up and left the examining room with Kate right behind her. They walked into Dr. Caldwell's wood-paneled office. "Please have a seat," she sat behind her desk and picked up her phone. "Danielle, can you bring Mr. Castle back here to my office? Thank you."

A few minutes later, the receptionist lightly tapped on the office door, opening it for Rick, who walked in rather tentatively. "It's okay, Castle. If she was doing a pelvic, she wouldn't have called you back," Kate teased. "Dr. Caldwell, this is my husband, Rick."

"You're the mystery writer," the doctor smiled, shaking his hand. "I should've put two and two together. Please have a seat. Kate was voicing her concerns about carrying a child because of the gunshot wound she received. I can tell you that from a physical standpoint, Kate seems to be in perfect health. However, I'm not a cardiologist. What I would suggest is that you make an appointment with a cardiologist to see what he or she might recommend."

"But you do think that I could carry a baby to term?" Kate reached for Castle's hand, her fingers tangling with his.

"From where I sit, I don't see why not. But again, I'm not a cardiologist. Are you still seeing the one who treated you after you were shot?"

"I haven't seen him in about 18 months. On my last visit, he told me that he didn't need to see me again unless I started having problems."

"Then I would suggest making an appointment since he knows your history. After you see him to see what he thinks, then make another appointment with me and we'll discuss your options."

"Thank you," Kate stood up and shook the doctors' hand.

"You're welcome, Kate. I hope that the next time I see you, you'll be injury free," she smiled.

"That makes two of us," Kate said.

"Make that three," Castle chimed in.

"I'll talk to you soon, Kate."

It was bitterly cold when they walked out of the medical building and down the street to where Rick had parked his Mercedes. "I didn't like him," Kate blurted out after Rick had unlocked her door.

"Who?" He asked after he got behind the wheel.

"Dr. Rykov, my cardiologist. He was always in a hurry and he acted like my questions annoyed him. Plus, his hands were always so cold," she shuddered at the memory.

"I think that's some kind of a requirement for doctors. That they have to have cold hands," he added when Kate gave him a puzzled look.

"Not like this guy, Castle. I swear that he plunged his hands into a bowl of ice water before he came in to examine me."

"What else?"

"What do you mean 'what else?'"

"Oh, I don't know. There just seemed like there should be a 'and' at the end of that sentence."

"I just don't want to go back to that time in my life. I've worked so hard to put it behind me."

"I thought you were ready to have a baby," he reminded her. "I know that time was painful, Kate, but this doctor is the one who can give you the green light."

"Okay," she took a deep breath and let it out.

"Okay," he repeated.

Fortunately Kate was able to book an appointment with the cardiologist for the end of the week. After cooking dinner, she followed Castle into his office and watched him as he worked on his newest Nikki Heat novel. She loved watching him write; the way that his brow would furrow as he recorded his thoughts to laptop, his fingers skipping over the keyboard. Every once in a while, he'd look at her sitting on the small sofa and flash her a smile. Shortly after 11, she got up and walked behind his chair, squeezing his shoulders and kissing the top of his head. "I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. Are you coming?"

"Let me just finish this chapter and send it off to Gina," he kissed her hand.

"Okay."

By the time Castle finished what he was doing and came into their bedroom, Kate was sitting on the bed, applying lotion to her legs. "I'd be more than happy to do that," his voice was rough as he approached the bed.

Kate smiled before handing him the tube of vanilla scented lotion. She lay back against the headboard, watching Castle bring her right leg onto his lap, kneading the lotion into her damp skin. "I bet you used to have dreams about doing this," she bit her lip, grinning at him.

"I used to have dreams about doing a lot of things to you," he switched legs, rubbing lotion into her left leg, kneading her calf before moving his hands higher up. "I still wake up sometimes and want to pinch myself when I look at you sound asleep at my side. Sometimes I still don't think that I deserve you."

"Rick, don't," she sat up, resting her forehead against his. "You're a much better man than you give yourself credit for. Any woman would be so lucky to have you. And I thank god that I happen to be that woman," she smiled. "You're a wonderful son and father. You've been my best friend and my partner in crime. I can't wait to experience being a parent with you."

"Are you scared?"

"A little," she admitted. "Were you scared when you found out about Alexis?"

"Terrified."

"Then we'll be terrified together."

"Yes, we will."

Friday morning, Kate found herself sitting on the examination table in Dr. Abraham Rykov's office. She swung her legs back and forth while she waited for the doctor. This time she'd come alone, since Castle had a meeting at Black Pawn. She'd told him before leaving the loft that she'd text him when she was done.

She looked toward the door when she heard it open. "Good morning, Ms. Beckett," Dr. Rykov's thickly accented voice greeted her. "I have not seen you in quite some time. What brings you here today? I thought that I had cleared you medically."

"I recently got married," she looked toward the floor. "We want to have a baby and were wondering if it would be dangerous for me to get pregnant."

"Your condition was quite critical for a long time. Actually I'm surprised that you recovered as fully as you did."

"Yeah, I heard that a lot. So, are you saying that I shouldn't get pregnant?"

"I am not a gynecologist, but every pregnancy is different as every cardiac patient is different. I truly can't say how your body will react to a baby. I don't know how your heart will handle the stress. Are you still working as a . . . homicide detective?" He asked, consulting his notes.

"Yes."

"I think the stress of your job in combination with what happened to your heart might not be a good thing. Your job is very high stress."

"Yeah, I'm aware of that. Would you recommend seeing a high risk specialist if I do get pregnant?"

"That would probably not be a bad idea. I wish that I could give you more hopeful news, Ms. Beckett, but as I said, every situation is different."

Kate texted Castle when she left the doctor's office, letting him know that she'd meet him at the loft later that afternoon. She didn't say anything about her appointment, preferring to talk to him about it in person when he arrived home.

When she walked into the apartment, Alexis was in the kitchen. "Hey, Kate," she greeted her. "I stopped by the deli and picked up some of that chicken salad that you like. The one with tarragon and grapes."

"Thanks, but I'm not really hungry," Kate shed her coat and scarf before walking over and sitting on one of the barstools. "I thought you had class today."

"Not until this afternoon. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. You just seem a little down."

"Alexis, have you ever not really realized how badly that you wanted something until you were told that you might not be able to have it?"

"When I initially got turned down by Stanford, I was crushed. At first, I only wanted to go because Ashley was going to be there. But when they turned me down, I was so upset. Like I told my dad, I had never _not_ gotten something that I wanted before. Can I ask a personal question?" She looked at Kate, who slowly nodded. "Does it have anything to do with having a baby with dad? I don't want all of the details. That's between you and dad."

"I never thought about being a mom," Kate smiled. "Not even when my mother was alive. I was such a different person then. All that I cared about was finding new and more inventive ways of sneaking out of the house and getting back in without getting caught. A few of my friends had babies and I thought that they were cute, but it wasn't for me. Then I met your dad. I'd see how he was with you and how his face would light up every time he talked about you. But I still never thought about having one of my own. And then we took care of Cosmo and I started thinking that maybe I _could _do this. Your dad is amazing, Alexis, and he did all of it on his own. I keep thinking about how amazing he could be doing it with a partner. I have nothing against your mother—"

"It's okay, Kate. I realized how my mother was when I was still a little girl. I love her, but she is what she is. I've made my peace with that. You and my dad are going to be great parents. I can't wait to be a big sister."

"I'll be in your dad's office," Kate got up and made her way to Castle's office, sitting in his huge leather chair and smiling at the screensaver on his laptop. Pictures of their wedding in the Hamptons dominated his computer screen. She turned and picked up the picture frame on the table behind her. It had been taken after their first dance together. Their smiles were so radiant. It had definitely been the happiest day of her life.

She heard the front door open, followed by the sounds of Castle and Alexis talking back and forth. A minute later, his broad frame appeared in the doorway. "Hey," he walked over and knelt down in front of the chair. "Alexis mentioned that you seemed a little down."

Instead of answering, she simply wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. "I love you, Rick."

"I love you too, Kate. It's going to work out." He became concerned when he felt her body shaking with sobs. "Kate?" He disentangled her arms and pulled her back, forcing her to look at him. "There's nothing so bad that we can't fix it. Come on; let's go in the bedroom so that you can tell me about your appointment with your cardiologist."

He led her by the hand into their bedroom where he sat on the end of the bed and motioned for her to join him. "I know that there's more than one way to have a baby, Rick. But I love you and I want to experience all of that stuff that I've read about and seen in movies."

"Even morning sickness?" He flashed her a wry smile. "Because when Meredith was pregnant with Alexis, there were mornings when I expected her head to start spinning around. What did your doctor say?" 

"That he doesn't really know if I can carry a child because every pregnancy is different, just like every heart patient is different. He reminded me that on top of receiving a gunshot wound to my heart, that I also have a high stress job. He said that if I were to get pregnant, he would recommend that I see an OB/GYN who specializes in high risk pregnancies."

"Then I suggest that you make another appointment with Dr. Caldwell to see what she recommends. Kate, it doesn't sound like this doctor exactly told you no. He has concerns, as do I. But these are concerns that we can work with. Call Dr. Caldwell and we'll take it from there. Okay?" She nodded before pressing her lips into his neck. "So, what else do you want to experience besides morning sickness?"

"All of it," she smiled at him. "Seeing the plus sign on the pregnancy test, feeling the baby move for the first time, having you sitting there beside me when he makes his debut in the world."

"He, huh? Wow, it sounds like you've really been thinking about this a lot."

"I want this more than I've wanted anything in my life."

"Then let's take the next step."

**A/N #2: My thinking is this story has at least 2 more chapters.**

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	5. Options and a Surprise

**DISCLAIMERS: No, but I will remain hopeful.**

**A/N #1: Before anybody asks, I'm not starting a new Castle universe for my stories. This story will stand on its own and I will return to Ariel, Jack and Baby Hope by the summer.**

**A/N #2: Please note the ratings change.**

Chapter 5: Options and a Surprise

"What exactly did your cardiologist say?" Kate sat in Dr. Caldwell's office on a freezing cold afternoon.

"He's concerned about my previous injury in conjunction with the high stress level of my job," Kate answered.

"That's an understandable concern," the doctor nodded. "The question that you need to ask yourself, Kate, is this. Are you willing to make sacrifices in order to have a child?"

"I'm willing to do whatever I have to do. I love my husband very much and he's a wonderful father. But he raised his daughter as a single parent. I want him to experience the joys of raising a child with someone who's there to dive into it with him."

"Kate, are you sure that you want a baby for yourself or to make up the past for Rick?"

"Maybe it's a little of both," Kate admitted. "I want something that's part of both of us. Like I told him the other night, I want to experience everything that comes with having a child with him. Both the good stuff and the bad."

"I do think that you're going to be a great mom. But you're definitely going to have to make some serious lifestyle changes if that happens."

"You're talking about my job?"

"Yes, I am. But, we'll talk more about that when you actually get pregnant. You should also be aware that getting pregnant isn't always as easy as just jumping into bed and having sex. So don't be disappointed if it doesn't happen right away. Just relax and let things happen."

"One more question before I go," Kate could hardly contain her excitement. "Will it be a high risk pregnancy?"

"I won't know that until it happens. I do know that I'll be monitoring you very carefully throughout the pregnancy. But, Kate?" Dr. Caldwell got up and walked around her desk to her patient. "Get pregnant first. Go home and tell your handsome writer that he has my permission to knock you up." Kate laughed at her choice of words.

Kate was giddy with excitement during the drive home. She rushed into the lobby of the loft, shouting back a greeting at the doorman as she ran for the elevator, impatiently pushing the button when the door closed behind her. When the elevator stopped on the top floor, she hurried down the hall with her key in her hand and quickly unlocked the door. "Rick? Are you home?" She called out as she hung up her coat and scarf.

"Yeah, I'm right here," he came out of his office, laughing when she launched herself into his arms. "I missed you, too, but you were only gone a couple of hours."

"Dr. Caldwell gave me a message to give to you," she moved back, but kept her arms lightly around his neck. "She said that you have her permission to knock me up."

"It's a go?" His smile was huge. "What about everything that Dr. Doom said?"

"She said that she'll monitor me carefully and that I'll have to scale things back on the job, but Castle, we can get pregnant. I can have your baby. Are Martha and Alexis here?"

"No, but they'll both be back soon. Kate, I want to do this right. I want wine and candlelight, maybe an Al Green or Barry White CD."

"Oh, so you want to seduce me?" Her eyes were twinkling brightly.

"I always want to seduce you," he bent down and captured her lips in a slow, soft kiss, the kind that always made her chase after him for more. This time was no exception. "Uh-uh, Mrs. Castle. Wine and candlelight, remember?"

"When?"

"You'll know when," he answered mysteriously.

"Castle—"

"Kate, I want it to be special."

"So do I, but what if it doesn't happen on the first try?"

"Oh, it'll happen on the first try," he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest. "I'm going to make sure of that," his lips traveled to her neck.

"I want a little boy, Castle. I want a little boy who looks just like you."

"What if you have a little girl who looks just like you?"

"That'll be okay, too. I just want something that's a part of you and a part of me."

"Me too, Kate. I never felt that with Meredith."

"She wasn't happy about being pregnant?"

"Not really. Don't get me wrong. Meredith loves Alexis, but she definitely didn't love being pregnant. She complained constantly about how much weight she was gaining, about how swollen her ankles got, all of the stuff that you read about in books. And she somehow found a way to turning all of her complaints so that it ended up being my fault. After all, I was the one who did this to her."

"I'll tell you what," she tugged on the front of his shirt. "If I start doing that, you can remind me that getting pregnant was my idea."

"I'm going to hold you to that."

"Okay," she stepped up on her toes to press another kiss to his lips.

***CCC***

Castle was sitting at his laptop writing a few days later when his phone buzzed, signaling a text message. He smiled when he saw that it was a message from Kate, who had returned to work a couple of days before. **'Stuck here working on 5's. I won't be home until after 6. ILY.'**

That was when it hit Castle that tonight would be a perfect night for their wine and candlelight dinner. Alexis had a tutoring session that wouldn't end until late and his mother had a date with her friend from the support group she'd joined after his disappearance. They'd have the loft to themselves until 11 or maybe even later.

He checked the wine cooler to make sure that he had a bottle of Kate's favorite red wine on hand. With that being done, he planned a menu for dinner. He knew that her favorite food was Chinese, so he made a decision to order in from her favorite Chinese restaurant.

When Kate walked into the loft at 6:30, she smiled when she saw that the lights had been dimmed and two taper candles were burning brightly on the dining room table. Her heart began to pound in excitement when she saw Castle walking toward her, impeccably dressed in her favorite purple shirt and dark slacks. He drew her close and she inhaled the scent of him. "I take it we're not going to be interrupted," she breathed against his chest.

"I texted both mother and Alexis half an hour ago to be sure. We're alone for the evening. Come on, I ordered your favorites from Shanghai Garden."

During dinner, Kate regaled Castle with stories of her day at the precinct. But her mind wasn't really on her day at the precinct. Her mind was more on how quickly she could drag her husband into the bedroom and out of his clothes. "Well, I see that you have the wine and the candles. What else do you have in your seduction repertoire?"

"I went on iTunes and downloaded every romantic song that I could find to my phone. But first, I thought that we could take a long shower together. No sex, mind you, because my research shows that heat can kill sperm," Kate smiled at how serious Castle was about this baby-making business. "But we can definitely engage in some serious foreplay."

"I like the sound of that."

"Let me clear the table and I'll join you in the shower," he kissed her softly.

Kate walked into the bathroom and turned on the water, adjusting the temperature before stripping out of her clothes. She then stepped into the shower and turned the shower heads the way that she and Castle liked them when they showered together. She reached for her shower gel and her sponge, lathering up her body just as the shower door opened and her ruggedly handsome husband stepped in. "You're all wet and soapy already," he stepped closer to her.

"You'll be in the same state in just a minute," Kate began to slowly wash his body with the soapy bath sponge. Once she had him lathered up, she placed the sponge back on its hook, where the spray from the shower began rinsing it off. She then began rubbing the soap into Rick's skin with her hands, making sure every inch of him was clean.

Castle bent his head down to her, his tongue probing for entrance, his hands snaking around her to pull her closer. He groaned at the feel of her soapy hands stroking him into hardness. He moved his hands to her breast, rolling her soapy nipples between his thumb and forefinger before cupping her breasts in his hands and then gradually moving his hands lower, stroking her abdomen, gently tracing the long scar on her side.

Kate's breath caught in her throat when she felt Castle's fingers between her legs, rubbing along her slick folds. "Castle," his name came out of her mouth as a whine. "Please?"

"Please what, Kate?" His lips moved to her neck, gently sucking on her pulse point. "What is it that you want?"

"You," her lips moved to his chest even as her hand continued stroking him, her thumb brushing over his tip. "Take me to bed and make love to me, Rick." 

Castle reached behind him and unhooked the shower wand, rinsing them both off before turning off the water. He then stepped out of the shower and grabbed a huge fluffy bath towel, holding it out for Kate, who gratefully stepped into it, smiling broadly when he wrapped it around her and turned her to face him. He slowly dried her off in between heated kisses. By the time he finished drying her, he was dry himself.

He took her by the hand and led her to their bed, where he carefully pressed her down to the mattress before signaling for her to wait. He then walked over to the dresser where his iPod was sitting in a docking station. He turned it on and Kate smiled as the romantic sounds of Al Green filled the air. He then strolled back over to the bed and crawled up the bed until he was covering her body with his own. She wrapped her legs and arms around him as their lips met. "Oh, Castle," she breathed when his lips moved down to her neck, once again sucking her pulse point between his lips. "I want you, Rick. Please? I need you. I love you so much."

He rose up on his hands so that he could stare into her eyes. "I love you, too."

Kate rose up to meet his lips, kissing him hungrily before reaching down and guiding him to her, sighing at the feeling of him slowly pushing into her. "You feel so good inside of me," she lay back against the pillows as Castle began to move inside of her.

The sounds of Castle's iPod were the perfect backdrop to the sounds of the two of them making love to each other. Their hands were everywhere, touching every inch of skin that they could reach. Kate's nails lightly scratched at Castle's back, her lips brushing against his neck and his jaw before his lips found hers.

Castle reached down to where they were joined, brushing his fingers against the swollen bundle of nerves between her legs. Kate screamed out his name, tightening her legs around him as she came hard. It only took a few more thrusts for Castle to reach his climax. He felt her fingers gently massaging his neck after he collapsed onto her shoulder.

After a few minutes, he reluctantly moved off of Kate, rolling over onto his back, his breathing still rapid. Kate moved so that her head was resting on his shoulder, her fingers running up and down his chest. "Give me . . . give me half an hour or so and we'll . . . do that again," he slipped his arm around her shoulders.

"Actually I was doing some research of my own and it's suggested that we don't engage in more than one round because multiple rounds also lowers sperm count," she told him.

"But, we almost always have sex more than once," he protested.

"That's before we started trying to make a baby. It's okay, Castle. We can always just cuddle," she teased, repeating words that she'd said to him years before.

"Cuddling is okay," he said. "I like cuddling. So, how long did this research of yours say that we should wait before we make love again?"

"Two or three days. But, we can always do other things," she smiled before reaching for him once again.

"Whoa," he managed to breathe out when he felt Kate replace her hand with her lips.

***CCC***

"Kate, are you home?" Castle called out, closing the loft door behind him. When he didn't get an answer, he walked through his office into their bedroom, noticing that the bathroom door was closed. "Kate, are you okay?"

They had been trying to make a baby for almost two months now and so far, nothing had happened. Kate had sobbed uncontrollably in Castle's arms for almost an hour when she'd gotten her period. He hadn't known how to comfort her, except to tell her that it would happen eventually. That hadn't been the words she'd wanted to hear and she'd let him know.

Now she locked up in their bathroom. "Kate?" Castle knocked on the door.

"I'm okay, Castle. Come on in."

He opened the door and was surprised to find Kate standing in front of the bathroom vanity where she had three pregnancy tests lined up side by side. "Are they—"

"I don't know. It's not time to look, yet. I've felt nauseous and my boobs are sore. So I stopped at the drugstore on my way home to buy some tests. I figured that I'd buy more than one in case one is negative and one is positive," she rambled as Castle stepped up and wrapped his arms around her from behind, brushing his lips against her temple as he tried to keep the happiness in his heart at bay.

"How much longer before we know?"

"A little over a minute. Castle, what if they're all negative?" She turned in his arms.

"Then we'll keep trying. Maybe we're trying too hard. Let's just sit over here and wait," he led her over to the bathtub and sat down, pulling her down beside him. "How long have you felt sick? Why didn't you tell me?"

"A few days. I didn't want to get your hopes up. I didn't want to get my hopes up."

"I have a really good feeling about this," he clasped her hand, interlocking his fingers with hers. "I can feel it in my gut."

"So, your gut has magical properties?"

"Sometimes."

She couldn't help smiling before leaning over and kissing him just as the timer went off on the vanity. "I'm scared to look," she stood up and pulled him up with her. "Let's look at them together."

She led him over to the vanity and turned off the timer before picking up the first of the tests. Facing him, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Kate, good news or bad, we're going to get through this together. On three, okay?" She nodded. "Ready? One . . . two . . . and three."

She opened her eyes and looked at the long piece of plastic that she was holding in her hands. She stared at it before picking up the box with the instructions, reading them before staring at the stick again. She then picked up the second stick and then the third. Her face broke into a huge smile before lunging herself at Castle, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Castle, they all have plus signs on them! Castle, we're pregnant!"

**A/N #3: One more chapter and maybe an epilogue. **

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	6. Banishing Ghosts

**DISCLAIMERS: No.**

**SUMMARY: A welcome event serves to banish ghosts from Kate's past.**

**A/N #1: I read a lot of reviews of baby fan fics where people complain about writers that don't give Castle and Beckett a boy first. For the record I think they will have a son. This is why: I noticed on 'Bones,' that Seeley Booth has a son from a previous marriage, so it made sense that he and Brennan had a daughter. On 'Castle,' since Rick already has Alexis, I think when they do have a child, it'll be a boy. Stana Katic has also expressed that opinion.**

**A/N #2: There will be an epilogue after this chapter.**

**A/N #3: Italics indicate flashbacks.**

Chapter 6: Banishing Ghosts

_Eight months later_

"I can't do this!"

"Yes you can, Kate. You're almost there."

"Castle, I swear to god that I'm cutting your man parts off!"

"Kate, come on. You need to focus."

Kate looked down the length of the hospital bed where Dr. Caldwell was crouched between her legs. "Shit, here comes another one! Castle!"

"I've got you," Castle was sitting behind her supporting her weight against him as she labored to bring their son into the world. "You've got this, Kate. You can do this."

***CCC***

_It had been almost a problem free pregnancy. From the second she'd had it confirmed by Dr. Caldwell, Kate had been on cloud nine. She'd lie in Castle's arms at night and they'd talk about plans for their baby. He'd kiss her still flat belly and whisper silly, nonsensical things into her belly button. "Castle, my belly button isn't an intercom system," she'd protest._

"_How do you feel?" He moved back up to enfold her in his arms once again._

"_Happy. Too happy for words. I love you," she pulled him down and kissed him._

"_I love you, too."_

***CCC***

"How much longer?" Kate groaned.

"A few more pushes, Kate. You're doing great."

Castle glanced over at the heart monitor that was recording both Kate and the baby's heart rates. Dr. Caldwell had agreed to let Kate do the whole natural childbirth experience, with the only concession being the heart monitor. "I'm so tired," Kate panted, falling back against Castle's chest. "This is your fault, Castle."

"Yeah, I know. You've been telling me that for 18 hours."

"Okay, here we go again."

***CCC***

_Castle went to every doctor's appointment at Kate's insistence. She didn't want him to miss a thing. She even dragged Martha and Alexis to a few appointments. She wanted her whole family there the day they would learn what the baby's sex was. Her father had acted reluctant, but Kate could tell that he was secretly excited. _

_Dr. Caldwell looked around the room in amusement at the small group that had gathered. Kate lifted her shirt up and gasped when the doctor squired the gel on her bare stomach. She then turned on the monitor and grabbed the transducer, using it to spread the gel across Kate's stomach. _

_The image on the video screen was grainy, but soon they all could see it moving. "Look, he's sucking his thumb," Alexis pointed out as they all laughed._

"_Are you sure you want to know what you're having?" Dr. Caldwell asked._

"_Oh yeah," Kate nodded._

"_Hopefully the baby will cooperate and not be shy," the doctor moved the wand, smiling as she did. "Well, as you see, we have a thumb sucker. And congratulations, you are definitely having a little boy."_

"_Are you sure it's a boy?" Jim squinted at the screen._

"_I've been doing this for a while now, Mr. Beckett. Either this baby has another appendage where it's not supposed to be or it's a boy. I'll print you out some pictures for his baby album."_

"_A little boy. Jim, we're having a grandson!" Martha clapped her hands together joyfully. "So Richard, have you and Katherine picked out a name?"_

"_Yeah, but we're going to keep it to ourselves until he's born," Kate looked at Castle, who nodded and smiled before kissing her._

***CCC***

"Kate, you're doing great," Castle wiped her forehead with a damp cloth. "I know that you're exhausted, but I promise that it's going to be worth it the first time that you see him. Focus on that. Focus on meeting our son for the first time."

"Castle, if you think this is going to save your private parts, you can think again," Kate managed to pant out before gripping his hand in a death grip. "Why isn't he coming out?"

"He's coming out, Kate. A few more pushes and he's going to be here," Dr. Caldwell assured her patient.

"You told me that . . . a few pushes ago. Why don't you get up here and push him out?"

"Kate, I've been where you are now. Believe me when I tell you that you're doing great. Now quit talking and let's get this baby out."

***CCC***

_Capt. Gates was adamant about Kate being on modified desk duty from the moment she announced her pregnancy to the rest of the squad. So Kate was stuck at her desk running background checks and checking surveillance on suspects. She was bored and boredom made her cranky._

_Castle smiled when she walked in the door, her baby bump becoming really visible now that she was five months along. "Hi," he got up and walked over to her, folding her against him as he felt her sag. "Are you tired?"_

"_No, Castle. I'm bored. I want excitement. I want to sit in on one interrogation. Is that too much to ask?"_

"_Kate, we talked about this. We can't risk something going wrong. You're doing well right now, but what's going to happen when you get bigger? I know that you're bored. I'll make a deal with you."_

"_What?" She looked at him with a petulant expression on her face._

"_If you can deal with being bored at work, I will do my very best to entertain you when you come home. Okay?"_

"_Okay," she leaned into his chest, feeling his arms come around her. "He's been pretty active today," she took one of his hands and pressed it to her belly. "I think he's missed his daddy."_

"_Hi, Michael," Castle knelt down in front of her. "Your mommy and I can't wait to meet you."_

_Kate carded her fingers through his hair. "Castle, can you take me to bed and entertain me there?"_

"_I thought you'd never ask," he stood up with a broad smile on his face._

***CCC***

"Okay, Kate. Stop pushing and pant. Just like you learned in Lamaze class," Dr. Caldwell instructed her.

Kate did as she was instructed, feeling like she was going to rip apart at any second. Suddenly the sound of loud wailing filled the room. "He's here," Castle whispered against her neck. "Kate, he's here."

"Not quite, but nearly. Okay Kate, on three I need for you to push so that we can get his shoulders free. Once his shoulders are free, the rest is a piece of cake. Deep breath and push! One . . . two . . . three . . . four . . . five . . . six . . . seven . . . eight . . . nine . . . and ten! One more time, Kate!"

It took three more pushes before the rest of the baby's body slid from Kate's. "Oh my god, Castle! He's here. He's finally here."

Tears ran down both of their faces when Dr. Caldwell held up their new baby boy, wet with amniotic fluid and blood. "Daddy, would you like to cut the cord?"

"Oh, yeah," Castle carefully slid from behind Kate and took the scissors from the doctor, carefully cutting where she instructed him to.

Dr. Caldwell wrapped the baby in a towel and handed him to a nurse, who rubbed him down as he continued to squall loudly in protest. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, the nurse brought him over and handed him to Kate, whose fingers were practically itching in impatience to hold her son. As if sensing who had him, the baby's crying instantly stopped.

"Oh my god," Kate could barely breathe. "Hi, sweetie. Welcome to the world. Castle, look at him. He's so . . . perfect."

The baby stared up at Kate with unfocused blue eyes. Castle perched on the edge of the bed, slipping an arm around Kate and sharing in the moment. "You did great," he kissed her temple.

"Kate, we should take him to the nursery and get him all squared away. We'll bring him back as soon as we can and then you can let your family meet him," Dr. Caldwell told her.

Kate almost broke into sobs when she had to relinquish the baby to the nurse. "We won't be long," the nurse smiled. "We'll bring him back all squeaky clean."

"Kate, I'll send someone in to help you get cleaned up, as well. Congratulations," Dr. Caldwell smiled. "How do you feel?"

"Tired and thirsty."

"I'll get you some water."

A nurse came in with a pitcher of iced water for Kate. Castle was forced to step out while the nurse helped Kate clean up. When he came in 10 minutes later, he was shocked to find Kate in tears. "Hey, what's going on?" He walked over to the bed and pulled her against his chest.

"When are they going to bring him back? I want my baby!"

"Kate, they're going to bring him right back. They're making sure that he's healthy, plus they need to get all of that _gunk_ off of him. I'm going to go and let everybody know that he's here. I'm sure that by the time that I get back from making announcements, they will have brought him back to you. Please don't cry. You just had our son. You should be smiling," he told her, feeling her smile against him.

"Thank you, Castle," she whispered.

"For what?"

"For being there and coaching me through this. I couldn't have done this without you."

"This is true. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Shortly after Castle left, Dr. Caldwell came in with a nurse holding the baby and another doctor. "Kate, this is Dr. Miller."

"Is there something wrong?"

"No, not at all," the doctor was quick to assure her. "I just wanted to personally let you know that I was the one who examined your son and he is perfectly healthy. Very healthy, as a matter of fact. Eight pounds, five ounces worth of healthy with a great set of lungs. He wasn't a fan of anything that I did to him. Congratulations."

The nurse placed the baby back in Kate's arms as she marveled over him. "When can we take him home?"

"Tomorrow," Dr. Caldwell told her. "Congratulations, Kate. You did a great job."

***CCC***

_The pregnancy remained problem free until Kate reached her seventh month. That was when the added weight of the baby began to cause her to become breathless, which in turn would make her pass out on occasion. "How dangerous is this?" She asked Dr. Caldwell on one of her visits._

"_Well, it's not the best scenario, but it's not life threatening to you or the baby unless you actually stop breathing which hasn't happened. However, I'll need to put you on a cardiac monitor during your labor. If things get too dicey, you'll have to have an emergency c-section."_

"_Will I have to have an epidural?"_

"_The epi is completely up to you, Kate. If you want to go drug-free, I'm all for it. But it's okay to want something for the pain."_

***CCC***

Kate was cuddling the baby and whispering things to him when Castle walked in with his mother, Alexis, and her dad. "Oh my goodness," Martha approached the bed. "Oh, he's beautiful! May I?"

Kate smiled before reluctantly handing the baby to his grandmother. Castle sat on the edge of the bed, smiling as he watched their family fuss over their newborn son. "Dad, what is his name? You can let the cat out of the bag now that he's here," Alexis said.

"His name is Michael Royce Castle. Your dad and I decided on the name after Ganz attacked me. I . . . we needed a way to honor Royce."

"Welcome to the world, Mikey," Martha crooned as Kate and Castle both inwardly cringed.

"Castle, you need to tell—"

"I've got it. Mother, it's Michael, not Mike, and certainly not 'Mikey.'"

"Congratulations, Bug," Jim walked over to the bed and pressed a kiss to Kate's forehead.

"Jim, say 'hello' to your grandson," Martha handed the baby to him.

Jim tucked Michael into the crook of his elbow, tears filling his eyes as he looked at him. "He looks like you, Katie," he smiled at her.

"Oh, I don't know. I think he looks like Rick."

"He has Richard's nose and his ears, but other than that, I agree with Jim. He looks like you, Katherine," Martha agreed. "But, right now we're going to let you and Richard get better acquainted with Michael. Get some rest and we'll see you tomorrow."

"Thank you, Martha."

Jim handed the baby to Rick before kissing Kate once again. "I'll call you tonight."

"Okay, dad."

"Thank you for my little brother," Alexis gently hugged Kate before kissing her dad.

"Goodnight, pumpkin."

Castle returned to the edge of the bed, placed Michael on his legs and unwrapped his blanket. "Castle, what are you doing?"

"The first time I held Alexis; I uncovered her and checked every inch of her. She was like the best birthday and Christmas present combined."

"He's so perfect, Castle."

"How do you feel?"

"Tired, sore in places that I didn't know existed, happy to be able to breathe again."

"I'm glad not to have to catch you every time you pass out. I'm so proud of you."

"That was the hardest thing I've ever done, but he is so worth it," she touched his leg as Michael began to kick his legs and fuss. "He's probably hungry." When Castle didn't respond, she nudged him. "Castle, if he's hungry, I'm the only one who can take care of that. For me to feed him, I actually need him."

"Oh," Castle quickly re-wrapped the blanket around Michael and lifted him up, handing him over to Kate, who'd already lowered one side of her gown.

Castle watched Kate as she placed Michael to her chest, allowing him to root around before he latched onto her nipple and began to nurse hungrily. "He acts like his food supply is going to be cut off tomorrow."

"Yeah, he eats like his old man," she grinned, before yawning widely.

"After he eats, I'll help you change him and then I want you to get some sleep. You've had a long couple of days."

After switching breasts, allowing Michael to eat his fill, Kate managed to get through her first diaper change as the baby howled in protest. Once he was changed and swaddled once again, he quieted down. "I know that you want to keep him with you, but I really think that you should get some rest. He'll be fine in the nursery," Castle told her.

"Castle, they're going to bring him to me to be nursed, so why not just keep him in here?"

"Okay, but if I feel like you're not resting, I'll take him to the nursery. Deal?"

"Deal," she shifted so that her head was resting on his shoulder. "I can't believe that we created a person, Castle."

"Yeah, we did. You were such a trouper, Kate." When she didn't answer, he glanced down and smiled, seeing that she was asleep. He carefully took the now sleeping newborn from her arms, shifting him in his arms. "Mommy's had a long day, Michael. So has your old man."

After putting the baby in a bassinet that had been brought to them, Castle pulled a chair up beside Kate's bed, stretching out and watching her as she slept. At some point, she woke up and startled. "Castle, where's Michael?"

"Shh, he's fine. He's asleep right over there," he pointed to the bassinet at the end of the bed.

"Then why are you sleeping there? Get in this bed with me," she ordered him.

"You've got it," he smiled before toeing off his shoes and climbing in the bed beside Kate. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Hmm?" She hummed against his chest.

"Are you still going to cut off my man parts?"

"I'll let you know tomorrow."

**A/N #4: At some point I'll probably write a longer story dealing with Kate's pregnancy with Michael. That wasn't my original plan, but it was suggested to me by one of my beta's.**

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	7. Epilogue--In the Still of the Night

**DISCLAIMERS: No, I don't own anything that you'd recognize.**

**A/N #1: This is the epilogue. Sometime in the future, I will write a longer story that will go into more detail regarding Kate's pregnancy with Michael.**

Epilogue: In the Still of the Night

It was the wee hours of the morning and Castle was sitting in his office at his laptop, outlining ideas for his next Nikki Heat book when he heard it and smiled. The small grunt from the bedroom indicating that his three-week-old son was trying to wake himself up. By now he knew that the grunt would be followed by a small arm rising up in the air before he would burst into full-scale cries.

Although Michael had his own bedroom upstairs next to Alexis' room, Kate preferred having him downstairs in the master bedroom with her and Castle. Right now, Castle was willing to go with the program because he knew that Kate was still getting used to the routine of being a new mom. Plus, the first week after Michael had come home, she'd been far too sore to climb the stairs every three and a half hours.

Castle heard Michael begin to fuss, but he knew that Kate, always the ever vigilant detective, had also heard him although she'd been fast asleep for hours. She was always attuned to their son's needs, whether he was hungry or just needed to be held. "Shh, I've got you," he heard Kate whispering to the baby.

Castle heard the wailing increase which meant that Kate was changing Michael, something their small son hated. He closed the lid on his laptop and went to their bedroom, leaning against the doorway just watching Kate with the baby. She turned her head toward him and smiled. "He's right on time," he walked into the room.

"Here, you take care of this," she handed him the diaper. "Let me get him fed before he wakes up the rest of the house."

Kate got settled against the headboard of the bed and lowered her gown, putting Michael to her breast as he instantly latched on and began to suck greedily. While he nursed, Kate brushed her fingers through his dark hair, watching it curl softly. She marveled at how much he looked like Rick. She still couldn't believe that they had created this beautiful little boy. She glanced up when Castle walked back into the room and crawled up on the bed beside her and their son. "I can't get over him," he smiled.

"Me, either. I still can't believe that we made him."

"So, do you still want to cut my man parts off?" He teased, referring to the threat she'd made to him while she'd been in labor.

"Not if I want to have another baby," she moved toward him, softly capturing his lips with hers.

"You already want to have another one?"

"Not yet, but I don't want to wait too long. I want our kids to grow up close together, plus time isn't exactly on my side." She unlatched Michael from her breast and moved him to the other one, as he began to fuss and kick his legs in protest. "Whoa buddy, don't be so greedy."

"I think Royce would approve of his namesake."

Kate smiled as she lightly touched the baby's satiny cheek. "I think so, too."

After removing him from her other breast, she handed him over to Castle, who was already ready with a burp cloth tossed over his shoulder. His huge hands almost completely covered Michael as he placed him to his shoulder and began to rub his back briskly. Soon, several loud belches erupted from the tiny baby, causing Kate and Rick to burst out laughing. "Yeah, he definitely takes after his old man," Rick grinned at her.

"I'm surprised that he didn't explode."

"If he didn't eat so fast, he wouldn't be so full of gas. Come down here, buddy," Castle lowered the baby into the crook of his arm. "Thank you," he whispered to Kate.

"What for?"

"For him. For falling in love with me. Just . . . for everything."

"You're welcome," she leaned in and kissed him again. "And thank you for making him with me." 

"So, what do you think, Michael?" Castle glanced down at the baby, who watched him with sleepy blue eyes. "Are you ready for a brother or sister?"

Kate couldn't help smiling as she rested her head against Castle's shoulder, sharing in the wonder of their son. Yes, she decided. Royce would definitely approve of his namesake. But most of all, he'd approve of Kate finally being happy and at peace.

**A/N #2: I finally found 'Castle' at Walmart today, so I bought Season 1. I'm so happy.**

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